Gift: Baby drawings

Was gifted some pieces from some up n coming talent for Christmas! My niece and nephew drew. I've hung these above my desk where I can admire them when I need inspiration!

Art in Sac: Hi-Fructose: Turn the Page

If you’ve been reading my blog, you already know I was stoked to see the Turn the Page: The First Ten Years of Hi-Fructose Exhibit at the Crocker Art Museum. Aside from a bevy of sentimental reasons to attend, I've followed a fifth of the exhibiting artists since their actual features in Hi-Fructose and another three are on my list of very favorite visual artists (Yoshitomo Nara, James Jean, Audrey Kawasaki). I was also excited to see the work of artists I’ve read about in Hi-Fructose but only recently began to enjoy (namely Mark Ryden, Kris Kuksi and Kehinde Wiley).

The exhibit was immediately engulfing (as you'll see if you attend) and did not disappoint.

Unrequited (Variation in Pink), 2015 Resin infused refractory material, paint. 14 1/2 × 15 × 43 in. 

I was floored by:

• Nicola Verlato’s Carravio-esque chairoscuro and cinematic content in “Off the Grid.”
• all the manic eyes in Todd Schorr’s “The Last Polar Expedition of Commander Peary”.
• how my husband got lost in the chaos of Kris Kuksi's "Eros at Play" and the fog of Jeremy Geddes’ "The Street."
• the personified loss in Beth Cavener’s “Unrequited (Variation in Pink)." It made me choke on my tears.
• how reminiscent of Northern European Renaissance Dutch oil paintings the details in Femke Hiemstra’s "Hypnos” were.

Rosie's Tea Party Oil on Canvas, 2005

I savored:

• the magnitude of Kehinde Wiley’s "Philip the Fair”.
• the clown's doll-like hands in Ron English’s “Combrat Rising”.
• the sassy kitschy play in Mark Ryden’s “Rosie's Tea Party”. I found it ridiculously fun remaining entranced in Rosie's eyes and the details of her tea party. While Ryden’s technical skill is stunning, yes, “fun” is the word I’d use to describe experiencing this painting. I have fallen into his world fully and happily and now fully understand why Ryden is such a huge player in the pop surrealist world. 

I keep forgetting how marvelously thrilling it is to see a piece in person rather than on a computer or in print where it loses a bit of it's luster. It truly is in the experiencing of a piece in person that one can really understand what makes art.

If you are in the area and are interested in the exhibit, take note that it runs at the Crocker Art Museum through September 17, this year.

Sketching: Peonies

If you've been reading my blog you know my past month was loaded with bread-and-butter, church and family festivities. I came out mentally and emotionally drained so I didn't have enough energy to dive into my current pieces. Nevertheless, I've been religious in sketching.

Protecting my sketch time is crucial to my art the way practicing a violin is important to a violinist. Additionally, going to "work" consistently rather than waiting for inspiration keeps me thinking rationally and boosts my confidence. Going without sketching for long periods of time really dings my ability to communicate visually and to create fluidly.

Pen sketches showing how rusty I was when I first started sketching peonies, recently.

Here's some recent peony sketches.  I'm studying aging peonies. I'm interested in observing the aging appearance of the camellia next because they'll be in a piece I am currently working on. I wanted to give myself a confidence boost by studying the flower I felt was more complex, first. Some of these blossoms took an hour individually. Each one required time staring at reference photos and videos.

Fortunately, it does look like things are on the up and up and I should be back at it with my bigger pieces, soon.

Inspiration: Podcasts

It's been a month since I've written here, due to a fortunate influx in graphic design work, a much-needed vacation and taking care of my mental health. I wanted to update all you beautiful souls, though. So, in the meantime, I wanted to share some great podcasts if you are in need of inspiration. I listen to at least one of these podcasts every day while I work. It's like having mentors and peers in my home office. The things I've learned are so invaluable!

Marketing / Entrepreneurship / Design

As a Creative freelancer, these podcasts keep me up-to-date and excited when I hit those all-to-common work flow snags.

Accidental Creative with Todd Henry Todd Henry's episodes are shorter than some podcasts but his pep talks put me in my place when I'm complacent or cowardly. Some weeks, I listen to this podcast as I make my coffee first thing in the morning.

Design Matters with Debbie Millman I listen to some of these episodes over and over . As a freelancer, I sometimes lack Creative commiseration, so hearing Debbie talk to hotshot designers and creatives is like getting encouragement straight from the mouths of mentors.

Design Sponge (reruns) with Grace Bonney Back in 2008 when I followed like 300+ blogs, Grace Bonney had already claimed her reign as the godmother of design blogs. These podcasts are older, but Grace's design and curatorial experience really shine through each episode.

Online Marketing Made Easy with Amy Porterfield This one is targeted more towards teachers of online courses but Amy's interviews still offer TONS of encouragement and wisdom for businesses built on content generation (like mine!). Amy's energy is always inspiring, too.

Fine Art / Contemporary Art

It's important for me to remember that the role of "artist" (though traditionally pitied and misunderstood by the non-artist commercial world) is a necessary historical and cultural place in society. These podcasts remind me how important art will always be to humanity.

Hyperallergic I am grateful for everything Hyperallergic does to keep me updated on the living, breathing contemporary art world. This podcast reminds me to keep an eye on the history being made in art, not just the art history books I've read in school.

MoMA Talks Great for learning about both modern and contemporary art. This podcast features talks with artist, curators and scholars. 

Raw Material by SF MoMA The format of this podcast reminds me of PBS' Art21 series. I really like that I can keep my finger on the pulse of the art being made where I was born and raised: the Bay Area and Northern California.

KCRW Art Talk This podcast features artists in Southern California. I can't make that drive willy nilly, so I listen to this podcast to feel updated on that scene.

Lifestyle / Story-telling / News

When I don't have an audiobook to listen to, I listen to these podcasts. Story-telling is a huge aspect of my artwork and hearing the stories of both famous and regular people is necessary to my creative process.

Death, Sex and Money with Anna Sale This podcast is brimming with the human experience and Anna is a gracious interviewer. I find solace in listening to the stories told by people walking very different walks in life. Seldom are the topics of death, sex and money discussed elsewhere but this podcast makes clear that such "taboo" subjects are what tie us all together.

Rookie I am no teen but I've followed Tavi Gevinson's career since she was 12. Listening to this podcast, which is in line with the magazine she founded in 2011, is inspiring because interviewees are asked questions by unabashed teenagers finding their way through life. Quite often, answers are life-affirming and phrased in a gracious and honest way. 

PBS NewsHour ,  BBC NewsHour , (Time's) The Daily All for varying perspectives on world news. I avoided ingesting too much of the news in past years (it would depress me). However, I now feel a daily need to find my bearings in the world through learning what's going on elsewhere. It helps me navigate daily life when I focus on the human experience as a whole rather than my own little world of negative thoughts.

I hope you find these podcasts inspiring as you peruse them!

Winter 2005: Cold Air

DETAIL: Winter 2005:

Cold Air

IN PROGRESS

DETAIL: Winter 2005: Cold Air IN PROGRESS

This memory-based work in progress is in it's earliest stages. I want to start building the central points of the memory right from the first brush strokes of the background/base. 

In my mind's eye, there's some very vivid visuals in this memory:

1. An electric, living, blueish darkness. I'm layering washes, texture and color to achieve this multi-dimensional darkness.
2. Rushing, horizontal movement. I'm applying most of my color in horizontal strokes.

This piece is about one of my favorite memories of my dad. It had to do with him being completely courageous and fighting for me in the face of a seemingly hopeless and dire situation.

I thought it would be good to start this piece as Father's Day approaches. I don't plan to gift it to my father but this is a good time to reflect on one's gratefulness for their father.

Winter 2016: Walks

DETAILS: Winter 2016: Walks

 (IN PROGRESS)

DETAIL: Winter 2016: Walks (IN PROGRESS) - My fingerprints are seen here.

In this work in progress, I'm giving visual form to a theme I've never actually seen with my own eyes: my faith.

I am a Christian and I feel I have a deep and personal relationship with my God.  Much like in other deep relationships, I sometimes allow myself to float from my beloved.

In Winter 2016, I was bitter over a relentlessly painful twisted pelvis causing life altering, sometimes bed-ridden pain for almost two years. The best parts of my day alone would sometimes be the walks I took.  At such times, I allowed myself to feel empowered in my physical progress and I allowed myself to feel the presence of an entity that I could not see or feel.

The challenge of creating this piece is not only to create a visual language for what is unseen, but to reflect a recurring experience rather than a singular moment. I am trying to distill a certain feeling I had repeatedly through changing seasons rather than a single occurrence.

These memories are all very personal and the frames of images create a different narrative for me than they would create for any other viewer. I like the idea that my fingerprints literally create some of this imagery. I create finger paint "washes" in these progress photos.

Finished!* Spring 2002: First Time I Saw Justin

I am happy to share this finished piece with you beautiful souls!

"Spring 2002: First Time I Saw Justin"⠀
2017. Acrylic, Crayon, Colored Pencil on Mixed Media Paper. 18"x24".⠀

In this piece I explore how my mind organizes a very short but very special memory. Through creating this, I’ve learned about how I recall and prioritize stimuli from very short bursts of time.

The way I deal with remembering color is fascinating to me. It's also funny realizing I can remember a fact about a moment but not be able to establish a stable visual for it in my head. In this memory, I know my high school Newspaper teacher was present at this moment but I don’t know what he was doing or wearing (hence the word "OLSON"). The word, rather than a visual is a trigger for a fact.

If you want to know more about this piece, you can check my recent blog entry on the process and thought behind it.

Thanks for checking it out!

Spring 2002: First Time I Saw Justin

DETAIL: Spring 2002: First Time I Saw Justin (IN PROGRESS)

I travel space and time. 

I think we all do. As you sit and read, time passes through you- an imperceptible but relentlessly strong current. It won't stop for you just because you sit there. You're traveling time.

We travel space. Yes, we are literally hurtling through space on this little blue marble of a planet. We inhabit actual physical space, too. We move through it as we get up and walk. We can stand in the same physical space we stood in years ago and not be within the same spot in time the way we are within the same spot in physical space.

I believe it's a miracle that I inhabit the same speck of time and space as the man I love. We have been in love since 2003... married since 2015. This work in progress is a study of the exact time and physical space we inhabited when I first saw him.

Through this piece, I'm exploring how my mind makes and keeps memories. I'm recording the few but often revisited visuals my mind recalls from that very short moment.  I'm learning about how my mind organizes color, assigns value to simultaneous stimuli and amplifies recurring narratives into memories and my perception of history.

I'm fascinated with using commonplace traditional media such as paper, acrylic paint, colored pencil and glitter paint in my work. I also am interested in finger-painting and in using pure colors. There's something freeing about taking crayons straight from the crayola box and coloring the way I child would by focusing on association and content rather than exact color replication. Working in this way frees me from feeling I must meet public high brow medium standards. With these barriers gone, I can more freely explore my memories and mental color organization.

Art in Sac: Turn the Page

I just got a pamphlet heralding "Turn the Page: The First Ten Years of Hi-Fructose", showing at the Crocker Art Museum from June to September. I am stoked.

Kris Kuksi. Churchtank Type 9” (2010) . Crocker Art Museum

Hungrily consuming art magazines like Hi-Fructose back in 2007 made me realize my particular art style and voice was relevant and lead to my decision to go to art school. I realize now I've admired their work since the beginning since this exhibition marks the tenth anniversary of their art magazine. 

Art expected to show include a Mark Ryden (who I first learned about through Hi-Fructose), a Kris Kuksi, a Todd Schorr and a Kehinde Wiley.

The Crocker already has a Kuksi. It's a smaller work than the one expected at Turn The Page and was staggering to behold and turn over and over in my head. Perhaps the small size of it made the heaviness of the detail and content much grander, heavier. 

I am excited to see Eros at Play and the rest of the Hi-Fructose exhibit in June! I am really enjoying the stuff Crocker is bringing to my hometown!

August 2014 : When Grandma Died

This work in progress is about the moment I heard my paternal grandmother died.

Forcefully replaying this memory is ...weird. This piece has a strong hand in shaping my future perception of the memory it is based on. While the piece is in progress, I don't discuss the memory with people who were there. I don't want witness accounts blurring with mine...

But blurring happens. Fictional and romantic notions creep in, shaping both my painting and my memory. I realize I not only want my piece to appear visually pleasing to the viewer, but to my future self. I actually accept this act of poetic license the way a writer is emboldened by journaling. As long as the inconsistencies in my work were written by my mind, I'm okay with inconsistencies because memories are never consistent. Where once I feared making this picture would sully my sacred thoughts, I now find it empowers me.

Using references for this piece in progress.

As one who struggles with depression, I treasure this feeling of empowerment over my own perception. I accept the fears and the pain I cannot master. I invite them to speak or perform until I understand and respect them.

There are wrenching memories outside of this one I know I'll try to paint, someday. When I do, I will be the ringmaster of my own mind. I can't control the world around me but I can control the way my mind perceives what happens to me.

August 2014 : When Grandma Died ... IN PROGRESS

It is emotionally intense creating pieces like these. I've required breaks from creating this one because I miss my grandmother or I feel the weight of death passing from one generation to the next. It's difficult to work on other pieces directly after touching this but breaks are necessary not just to let me breathe, but to allow the piece to breathe. My present moments need to shape the pure pictures of my past. To me, replaying certain memories doesn't diminish their quality but adds to their value.

These pieces aren't themselves my past, but ever-present places in my mind. I can never stop revisiting the day my grandmother died. Even if I never started this painting, the memory will live, breathe and evolve with me until I also pass on.

Detail: August 2014 : When Grandma Died ... IN PROGRESS